Hanna Robbins traveling to Casa Vieja Lodge Guatemala

Part of the reason that we chose Guatemala for our winter getaway was the ease of travel. This year we were able to find direct flights from our closest airport, which meant that in four hours of flying and an easy 90 minute van ride we could be at the lodge – no overnighting halfway, no tight connections. Of course, in the era of COVID – and in the world of the Robbins family generally – there always seem to be complications.

Self-Imposed Quarantine

It started with the need to get a negative COVID test prior to leaving. Some sites said it had to be within 72 hours, others said it had to be 96 hours. Either way, with a 6pm departure on a Tuesday night, we were going to be pressed. The lab which our physician uses is covered by insurance, so we set up a test for Monday morning, prepared to pay $45 each to make sure that the results would be back within 24 hours. As long as we didn’t test positive, we’d be covered. So great was my desire to go (and to not contract COVID) that with the exception of picking up take-out food one night, I didn’t leave the house for 10 days.

Weather Worries

Then the snow came. And the ice. And other forms of precipitation.

Where we live in Virginia, every few years we’ll get a blizzard, but most years we get little to no snow. Up until now, this had been one of those years. Our friends in East Texas had gotten more snow than us this winter. Even when we get it, it’s usually over in a matter of hours. This time, of course, that wasn’t the case. It started snowing late Saturday night and kept going until our time of departure.

I shoveled. I shoveled again. I fretted. Would we be able to get to the COVID test appointment? Would the lab be open? I received a call from the lab on Sunday and expected the worst. Well, there was a problem, but it wasn’t closure. They had never received the orders from the test. Of course my doctor was closed, but I poked around on their online portal and found the orders. I took a screenshot and emailed it to the lab. They were fine with that. Another crisis averted…until it wasn’t.

Medical Miscues

I got a call from the lab on Monday morning that the screenshotted orders weren’t acceptable. They needed the one with the doctor’s signature. I called my doctor’s office and they said they’d fax it over. I wasn’t so sure, but we’d deal with that at the lab before getting jabbed in the nose. Hanna went off to work, I started teleworking.

At 9am I went out to start up my Suburban and nothing happened. Dead. I hit the semi-panic button. I tried to use my portable jump box. No dice. Tried to jump it off of Hanna’s Audi (she had driven an Explorer to work because of the icy roads) – again, nothing. I figured I’d drive the Audi to Hanna’s office (halfway of the 45 minutes to the lab), leave it there, and ride with her to the lab. As the Audi slipped and slid up the driveway I decided that was a bad idea. I called her in a panic and told her that she had to drive 20 minutes in the wrong direction to pick me up and we’d go to the lab together. To her credit, she hauled ass, got me, and we made it to the lab with a minute to spare. Fifteen minutes later, we’d been poked and we were headed back home. Rather than have her take me out of her way, I dropped her at her office, went home to finish my work day, and then returned to pick her up in the evening.

Testing Times Two

Now we just needed to get our test results. Mine ended up in my spam folder around 7pm. Negative. Whew. Then we waited for Hanna’s. We pressed refresh. Again. And again. Nothing. So we went to bed, vowing to call the lab as soon as they opened. I tried not to get too close to her in case she had the rona in her breath.

She woke me up from a deep sleep at 5:30am to play me a voicemail. Either they hadn’t gotten a quality sample, or the test was inconclusive (remember, I was still 75% asleep), and she needed to go back. They’d get her a result in 2 hours. Because I hadn’t bothered to jump the Suburban, that meant we had one useful vehicle, so I dutifully got up, got dressed, and drove her to work. I set up my computer in an empty office (the first time I’d worked anywhere but my home office since last March) and got to work. She’d go for her appointment at 8:30, come back, I’d go home and work until 2, at which point I’d throw our luggage and the dog in the vehicle and retrace my steps – picking her up, dropping off the dog at the sitter, and then going to the airport.

Hurry Up and Wait

She got the test before 8:30am, with a “promise” that results would be available in 2-3 hours. At 11:27 she called. “It’ll take 82 more minutes for the test to run,” was their response. That put us at 12:49, but I knew better to call on the dot. Finally, at 12:56 she called me: “We’re going on vacation!” I couldn’t resist answering: “Both of us?”

She did not laugh.

Keep the Home Fires Burning

I picked her up at 2:30, we dropped off the dog at the sitter, went to the airport and checked in. Our flight was uneventful. Customs, including the required COVID test presentation, was a breeze. Then she went to the bathroom. The next problem did not occur when she hit the throne, but rather when she went to wash her hands. She admired her hair in the mirror, thought about it for a second, and realized that she’d left her hair straightener on the bathroom counter after turning it on but not using it.

She panicked. Like full-on crazy redhead panic.

Fortunately, she somehow got cell service in Guatemala City and texted our good friend Steve Kahn, who not only has a key to our house, but happened to still be up even though he was leaving for a funeral in Pittsburgh the next day at 5am. He agreed to go over and check.

It turned out that her memory was correct -- she HAD left it on. Steve turned it off, unplugged it, did not notice any other imminent crises, and went home.

Worth the Wait

That was the last crisis of the week. After that, Casa Vieja took over. We were safe, uninjured, well-fed, and just a wee bit tired from cranking on 44 sailfish and a bunch of mahi. Better to have troubles before or after the trip than while you’re there.

I don’t wish for these hassles, but if that’s what it takes to live this lifestyle, I guess they’re ok.

If you’d like to get the full Guatemala experience (hopefully without all of these speed bumps) CLICK HERE.